These life lessons have been on Chris Swain's desk for about seven years, so use them as a starting point and feel free to add to this list. Words of wisdom are often mistaken for useless words until there compiled in a list like this one. Okay, enough with the candy-coated quotations of forgotten business leaders and inspirational sayings of long dead presidents and celebrities. Here are 20 real life lessons we all know but have never gotten around to writing down — until now.

1. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
2. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
3. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
4. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
5. He who hesitates is probably right.
6. Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
7. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
8. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
9. If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
10. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
11. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
12. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
13. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
14. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
15. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
16. Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
17. Monday is an awful way to spend one-seventh of your life.
18. The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
19. Following the rules will not get the job done.
20. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

Let me know your favorite or add to this list by leaving a comment. Or better yet, why not Digg this page.

From trhe desk of Chris Swain